Thoughts: Change

I always love when I pick up riders that love to share their life goals. One rider in particular had a goal that was very similar to mine when I was his age. He was in his earlier 20s and worked at a nearby hotel as a chef. He stated that his life goal was to use his 20s to stack money so that he could retire by the age of 30. He said this was his goal because he wanted to travel and enjoy the things that life had to offer.

I remember being about 18-19 and having that same realization. It never made sense to me to wait until I was 50,60 or 70 to retire and then try to enjoy life. But I also didn't want to return to work after vacation either. I wanted to be able to fully immerse myself in the world around me without fear of losing money, time or energy. As 19 turned to 20 and 20 turned to 25 that goal of stacking and investing money so that I could be free at 30 turned into learning more about generational traumas and releasing energies that were forced upon me.

I had no idea that when I started this journey that I would be unlearning so much about myself, about this world, about the life I thought I wanted to live. The more I tried to focus on chasing financial wealth the more my attention was redirected to understanding the wealth of the energy inside me. The more I focused on releasing my fears surrounding failure, self doubt and shame the more I wanted to attract more peace into my life and became less and less worried about financial gain.

There was even a point where I thought I no longer cared about money. I soon realized that wasn't the world we lived in and that money was very much integrated into my time and energy. but even in those down times it helped me understand how valuable money is. not just because it can pay for things but because it offers a sense of peace to know that you have it to use at your disposal. I learned that my lack of money is due to my disbelief of achieving those goals. Even though growing up I didn't really have a doubt in my abilities to accomplish anything, that didn't really come until my dad passed away, but I'll unpack that later.

Life was filled with so many surprises that helped reframe my ideas surrounding retirement and enjoying life. Over the years I've decided that I don't even want to wait until 30, I want to enjoy life right now, everyday. I want to create a life where I take my time to get to work. I work as many or as little hours as I want. I set goals and achieve them at my own pace. I vacation when I want, I take sick leave when I want, I can work anywhere at any time and the only cap on my hours is that I can't work more than 13hrs a day.

As I'm writing this, I'm having a new epiphany. This is the life that I wanted. Although it doesn't look like the life i thought i would have, it matches the energy that I wanted to fill. and i am grateful for that.

I guess i said all that to say this, it's okay to grow and change as you learn new things about yourself and the world around you. Maybe try taking a moment to reflect on all the things you've learned and appreciate yourself for even taking the time and having the capacity to receive new energy into your being❣️